By A. Fatih Syuhud
Director of Pondok Pesantren Al-Khoirot Malang Jatim
From Islamic law (shariah) point of view a woman is considered mature when they are entering a period of menstruation, usually at the age of 13-14 years. After entering this period, prohibition and obligations of religion are applicable to her such as praying five times and restrictions on associating with men who are not mahram. According to state law, the new woman is considered an adult at the age of 17 years time when she began to have the rights and obligations of full citizenship rights to an education, participate in the elections, the right to marry, have ID cards or driver’s license and the obligation to comply with government regulations.
Mature in the sense above is a formal definition of an adult associated with a particular law both Islamic law and state law.
Mature in a general view, including the review of psychology, is the perfect physical and mental growth. Normal physical growth is easy to determine because it can be seen by the senses. But the perfect mental growth is a different thing .
A grown-up mental attitude can be seen from the way ones behaves in making judgments, in attitude, in addressing the problem themselves or other people problems. If physical growth will stop at around the age of 20 years, then the maturity is a process that develops over time.
Therefore, one who physically mature does not guarantee a person becomes mentally grown up in terms of thought and behavior. Al Quran calls it the perfect maturity of attitude by the term al-akhlak al-karimah or morality or manners of a noble (Surat al-Qalam 68:4)
Akhlak al-Karimah is the perfect attitude of woman and is a long-winding process, although not impossible to achieve. It combines the perfect attitude of woman from the socio-ethical attitude as well as from Islamic point of view. And more importantly it is a strong willingness to undergo the process and the desire to achieve it that will matter. Here are some initial steps that need to be done:
1. Responsible for what it does. If that fails, one should not lie or blame others.
2. Admit mistakes made and encouraged to apologize. Ask what you can do to correct it. Remember what happened, so that similar mistakes do not happen again.
3. Find an adult friend to mingle. Make friends with a woman you think is a more mature in attitude who want to criticize you. Ask for advice and suggestions – and listen to the advice they give.
4. Note the lack of adult attitudes you have been doing, either from yourself or other people who say it. Practice to eradicate them one by one.
5. Respect your parents, close family and your spiritual teachers. Because they are most likely to make time for you when you really need help.
6. Note and record any actions of any friends that you like and you hate. Imitate actions of your friends are fun, and do not emulate their bad attitude.